Thursday, July 26, 2007

That ain't mine!

I haven't really been talking about Lohan because the whole thing depresses me. Perez posted a letter from the world's worst mother and it's pretty much what you think it would be. I was going to repost it here, but the denial might hurt your soul. Here are the highlights:

*She was wearing someone else's pants!

*The meanie-head cops strongarmed her into taking a breathalyzer!

*It's all the paparazzi's fault anyway!

*Lindsay should leave LA and go live with her family!

Oh, Dina. Dina, Dina, Dina. Have you looked at your daughter? I mean, really looked at her in a way that isn't like a cartoon character stranded on a desert island who's so hungry that their companion turns into a giant chicken leg (except in your case it's one of those sacks with a big dollar bill sign)? Because if you have, you wouldn't be saying stuff like this. You would be saying something more along the lines of, "Yikes. My bad, y'all. We'll be at a rehab facility in Oregon if you need us."

And Lindsay, I'm begging you. DO NOT MOVE IN WITH YOUR FAMILY. Yes, come back to New York, but come to Brooklyn instead. You can stay with us. We'll watch Mean Girls and talk about where it all started to go wrong, and you'll be in bed by 11.

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